Tag Archives: twins

I must be crazy. Or I love camping that much.

14 Sep

My husband and I are pretty seasoned tent campers.  For years we would make 4 or 5 camping trips a year, from April to October.  Tomorrow I am planning on taking our baby girls who will be 7 months, or 35 weeks, to be exact.

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I have been debating whether to go overnight for weeks but officially decided three days ago that I was going to make the plunge and actually go for it.  Reason being, I took them out there for the day back in June.  It was a little rough at times but mostly, I think, due to the heat.   I really wanted to stay because I enjoy spending time with my friends.  The drive back SUCKED.  I drove an hour through Virginia with no problems, as soon as I crossed the Maryland line they woke up, screaming.  I was on I-495 looking for a place to pull over, not easy.  Even though I pulled over and fed them, they still cried the whole way home, which was another hour.

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Now that they are a little older, other people can actually hold them and play with them.  Free babysitting for me!  I have the pack and play ready for naps and hopefully for bedtime.  I don’t like co-sleeping, the twincesses have taken my “night abuse” trait as my husband calls it.  They kick me all night and wiggle and don’t sleep well.  We are still breastfeeding, so I don’t have to worry about bottles and formula.  Packaged sqooshie thingys will cover the solid food part that we are doing.  I have two (actually four) awesome baby carriers – a Beco Gemini and Beco Butterfly – that will be awesome for carting my twosome around when we go hiking or just for being around the campsite.

The thing that still scares me, but not horribly, is the overnight part.  The girls are not sleeping through the night yet, they still wake up for at least 2 feedings a night, and sometimes they wake up more than that just for comfort.  I realized, it will be hard to be much worse than it already has at night – I pray I don’t eat those words tomorrow night!  So, I did a lot of brainstorming.  I am going to layer these babies up in their night-clothes.  Age/size appropriate PJs, under 12 month fleece PJs, under an Old Navy fleece suit.  I am so excited Old Navy sells those! It has covered hands and mittens and a hood! If they are still cold, I am going to use the JJ Cole  Bundle Me as little sleeping bags, and I am bringing every blanket in our house.

Oh, and bringing Murphy, our beloved Weimaraner.  Gotta bring him too.  Our dog is such a great pup.  On one camping occasion, Murphy and I were hiking around these little lakes at the campsite.  I had a frisbee that floated so I started tossing it into the water.  Poor Murphy is a horrible swimmer, he has to touch the bottom with his back legs while his front legs smack the waters surface, he looks so weird, but I guess because he is so muscular he doesn’t float so swimming is not his strength.  Because he is of the pointer breed, one time I threw the frisbee and it floated out into the middle of this lake, I called Murphy to me but he was going after the frisbee, on a mission!  That dog went completely under water when it got too deep for him to touch the bottom, I started taking my shoes off to go save him!  Well him came back up to shallow ground – but  because he was on a mission he went out again!  I couldn’t stop him from getting the frisbee.  That was the last time I did that, I didn’t want to push our luck.  I don’t know why it’s a fond memory – I have so many with my dog.  I am looking forward to making those memories with my daughters.  So good or bad at least I will have something to say about our weekend.

Wish me lots and lots luck!!!

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How a booger nearly ended my marriage

6 Sep

So, the twincesses are nearly 8 months now, and either they are sleeping better or I am ignoring them when they make sounds now. I had to get up the the middle of the night for some juice because I knew my blood sugar was low, I wasn’t sure if the babies were on or around me because I think I was dreaming how they were sleeping with me, I kept patting myself and the surrounding area so I would drop one on the floor on the way up. You see, now that I sleep, I actually wake up in the middle of dreams.

Anyways, the twincesses had the normal and highly feared four month sleep regression which started in May. This included waking up at 2 AM and babbling for 2 hours, then screaming for food. Eventually it got worse and they made bi-hourly or hourly Mommy wake-up calls. I think one night, I had an all time high of getting up at least 20 times, I stopped counting and looking at the clock around three months. It gets really depressing when you think your babes slept so well because it must be 4 AM. When you look at your iPhone, you cry inside, because it’s only 11:30 PM. On average, I must have woken up to tend to the babes at least 10 times a night. It was getting really old. You have no idea how sleep deprived I was, I covered it up really well with good concealer and lots of coffee, and chocolate cupcakes.

My husband knew better though, no amount of cupcakes cures craziness by sleep deprivation. One night, we gently rocked the babies to sleep, put them in their cribs ever so softly, so they would not wake up, and we tip-toed out of the nursery. Usually, the first half of the night was uneventful. We probably watched netflix. Babies have radar, though. They have a 6th sense of when you are going to bed. Our heads hit the pillow, and just when we are about to hit sleep – “wahhhhhhhh!” This time, both of them were up, I always prayed only one would wake up, it was so much harder to nurse them at night together, and harder to place them softly in bed one handed. I proceeded to nurse the little babes back to sleep. My husband came to help me put them back but K had a booger, that made her nose whistle. I feel kind of bad for saying this – but I did not care. The girls have had whistling noses a few times and I never did anything about it. My husband, though, is a wonderful and doting father. He is wonderful, and our babies are definitely daddy’s girls.

My husband takes a hold of K and whispers “where are the nasal aspirators?” We had at least 6 of them, half of them unopened, from the hospital. “I don’t know” I answer with hand gestures because I want him to drop it. But he doesn’t. He searches the room in the dark, checking under the changing table, checking on top of the dresser and eventually going into the bathroom to check every nook and cranny in there; all the while making every possible noise to wake the babies up. His search continues to outside the room. Every minute his search continues for the stinking nasal aspirators, I get more angry and annoyed. Eventually, we both end up yelling about where the nasal aspirators are. My husband saying I have no organization and me telling him they are where I said they were under the sink (which they were). He finally found an aspirator and proceeded to suck a booger out of K’s nose.

Me: Really?!

Hubs: She was choking on her booger! She couldn’t breathe!

At this point, both babies are wide awake. We were not at the point yet where they would go back to sleep on their own. So we attempted to rock and sway back to sleep. The babies were not having it. I gave up, in exasperation, I said “F this, I am up for the day!” I turned on all the lights, it was only midnight. I sat around, in my pissed off mood and thought about what he said and realized that I have never heard of anyone choking or dying from a large booger. It pissed me off even more. Eventually the babies did go back to sleep – 2 hours later, it wasn’t as pretty or as peaceful as when they first went to bed but we did the best we could. That is when it pretty much hit home that my tolerance meter was at zero, I made a fight about a booger.

Luckily, because I have a wonderful hubby, he forgave me for treating him so badly that night. But I still get a laugh when I hear my husband “she was choking on a booger!” The moral of the story, get sleep, anyway you can, or you might get divorced over something small – like a booger.

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How to deliver twins

4 Sep

I think 9 out of 10 people automatically think I delivered my girls by cesarean section.  I am quite happy, and proud, that I was able to deliver the old-fashioned way.  Baby Girl #1 was head down from 20 weeks on-ward.  She never moved from the finish line once she had her spot.  Baby Girl #2 was head up and head side-ways all the way until two weeks before delivery.  My sweet #2 baby saved my delivery, as my OB would not allow me to even try for a vaginal birth if she was not head down.  I was scared to have a c-section because of all the pain and discomfort that would follow, I have heard horror stories and I didn’t want to deal with it if I didn’t have to.

I was induced at 36 weeks because my little ones are identical and because I have juvenile diabetes.  I was scheduled to arrive at L & D at 12:45 AM.  That is a horrible time to make someone go to the hospital, I didn’t get any rest at all due to jitters.  So, I arrive at 12:45, however, I didn’t get the pitocin started until 3 AM.  Pitocin is what kick-starts you into labor.  Everyone in L&D thought that I would be waiting all day and into the evening before actually giving birth.  I kind of figured that with my mom’s history of short labors and my sensitivity to medicine it would be fast, my labor from start to finish was 11 hours.  The pitocin, as I mentioned, was started at 3 AM; those contractions in the very beginning were not bad, really like bad period cramps.  At 5 AM my water broke and that’s when the contractions started kicking up a notch. Between 5 AM and 7 AM, the nurse examined me because I was clearly in active labor – I was only 2 cm.  I think I said “WTF?! Are you serious?!” because I was experiencing a lot more intense pain and contractions.  It was at that moment, that I could not go through the rest of the labor without pain medicine.  “I NEED an epidural!” Up until that point, the decision to get an epidural was not set in stone, I wanted to see how I did without it.  I could see my OB roll her eyes secretly when I told her I wasn’t decided on an epidural at my last office visit.  It became clear that once I could not handle the pain and discomfort in a non-contracted state that I needed an epidural.  It was the best decision I made.  Because I got the epi, I was able to actually rest, and relax, in preparation for pushing.  At about 12:30 PM, when the nurse came in to check on me, I told her I could start feeling the contractions again; when she examined me I was at a 10!!! I was ready to go – except the OB was in with another c-section.

When they finally wheeled me down the OR (where all twins are delivered for safety reasons) it was about 1:30 PM.  I had about 10 people in there, all my dignity went out the window, there is no use to try to be discreet, it all hangs out and I guess you just don’t care anymore because you want those babies out ASAP.  So I started pushing, gave about 10 pushes and out comes F, she is white as a ghost, but crying.  F was diagnosed with twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome (TTTS) immediately and was transferred to the NICU.  Even though I had many ultrasounds to check on the growth of the girls, no one picked up on the twin to twin transfusion, leading me to believe they had Acute TTTS.  After F was born, one of the nurses came up to and me said “There is a bet going around the room that you will be done at 2.”  I looked at the clock on the wall which was resting at a quarter til.  “You got it” I replied. Less than ten minutes later I delivered K who was a champ for not flipping around and making me have a c-section. K was bigger and pinker than her sister.  One of the things I remember is how motivating the staff was, they kept telling me how great I was doing and how awesome my labor was.  I am not sure if any of it was true but their little bet to get me to deliver K faster definitely worked.

Apparently I make twin pregnancy and delivery look easy.  Well I tell ya, it all caught up with me in postpartum.  My doctor told me all I had was a small tear. “Ok” I thought to myself, not really caring because finally after what I felt like an eternity I was no longer pregnant. I had my beautiful babies, and one of them in the NICU to care about now. For the next eight hours I had a slow hemorrhage that kicked me, and all the nurses, in the arse.  No one could figure out why I continued to bleed, or where it came from.  My nurse made it her mission to kill me by massaging my uterus, apologizing every time she had to do it. I was able to nurse K once and by the time she was ready to nurse again I was in too bad of shape for the nurses to let her do it again.  If you have never felt some one “massage” your uterus after giving birth. It is the furthest thing from being relaxing, or wonderful. It feels like someone is kicking you in the gut and rubbing their foot. It hurts tremendously.  My husband had to watch me writhe in pain every time she did it, and he had to watch the color drain from my skin after several hours because I had been losing blood and energy for last several hours.

My husband literally had to go out and search for the OB because the nurses kept wanting to wait and see what would happen..  Eventually they figured out that I had a hematoma, which caused my “small tear” to grow into a huge tear and that I had a nicked artery or something.  So, I ended up needing two blood transfusions, and that night was the last full night of sleep I have ever had.  Postpartum recovery was much tougher than I had anticipated.  Even so, I am glad I avoided a c-section.

So Baby #1 was 4 lbs 7 oz and Baby #2 was 5 lbs 7 oz.  They were the exact same height of 18 inches long.  Our NICU baby came home a day after K and I did.  She had no other problems, except for a little jaundice, after she got 2 blood transfusions either.  We have been so blessed with how everything happened, when I look over the events that transpired I realize anything could have gone wrong at anytime.  It’s those times that I think about that I know we are being taken care of by the man upstairs.

Daily thoughts #2

2 Sep

Since having my twins in January it has been a rollercoaster of emotions and feelings.  Probably the weirdest one is I still cannot believe these are MY children, and I am a Mommy.  Becoming a Mom  is similar to looking at, and observing, something from the outside.  You can observe and analyze a Mother and note how well she handles herself, a crying baby, a happy baby and you might think you can never handle a life like that or if you can even see yourself with a life like that.  However, when this became my life, it is something I stepped into not really missing out on the old stuff too much.  My girls, my husband, my dog, and myself have just morphed into a different relationship and family dynamic.  What I did miss, in the beginning was the spontaneity and ability to take all the time in the world to do things.  A run into the store for one item was no big deal, and I enjoyed it.  Now to make a trip for one item gets weighed – do I really need this or can I make do without it? Or better yet, can my husband get it on his way home? The quick five minute trip now turned into an hour trip, remember everyone loves twins so I get stopped often.

 

 I love K and F so much and watching them grow has been satisfying to my soul.  I realized during my hardest moments that they would not last forever and they don’t. Crying uncontrollably in the middle of the night, feeding around the clock (I had no idea it really would be around the clock), the inability to put them down for a moment because they would cry (and subsequently break my heart), listening to one baby cry while I was helping  her sister as well as the one baby I was helping was also crying – I knew in the back of my head that these moments won’t last forever but it’s hard to grasp when you are in the thick of those hard, hard, days.  I am still waiting for Fallon to sleep through the night, and she will eventually;  then I will be the one up at 2 A.M. wondering what is going on!

 

Now that my girls are 7 months, and they are starting to wean from their Mama’s constant attention, it is bringing with it a sense of familiarity of how I used to live my life.  I can actually make breakfast and coffee while they sit and play in the morning and I get to eat it too!  My house, although not spotless, is a lot better than it used to be 5 and 6 months ago.  Some of my favorite moments in the past few months  have been the way I get a strangling hug around the neck and wet face kisses when they are very happy.  I love how I get to hold them in each arm and rock them to sleep and I knew there was no place they would rather be – or any place I would rather be at that moment.  I love how their faces light up when they see their Daddy, and how the only song we both sing to them and the only song I think of when we are apart from the girls is “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.”  It’s so adorable to see their faces look at us and smile so big because the girls know the words!  I don’t want to forget how K gets so impatient at meal time that she whines and smacks the table and high-chair until the spoon is coming right for her mouth.  When she finally starts to get satisfied then she leans back and looks like a queen on a throne till we are all finished.  Fallon is a lot more patient but she still makes “mmmmm – mmmmm” sounds while she is waiting for her turn.


So, even though my house may look immaculate for a few hours each week – I figure it’s better to enjoy these moments because they are fleeting.  I will never get those minutes back where they girls would fall asleep after nursing.  It was wonderful! And fulfilling that they were so easily content but those times, although they were wonderful, were incredibly challenging – I don’t know how I survived, especially doing it alone most days.  It’s reassuring when others send me compliment “I don’t know how you do it” when in the back of my head I couldn’t do it any other way.  I am looking forward to the future, and I am stocking up my tips for new parents, I love to give out my little tidbits in hopes that they will help a new Mom.